The memory really was so painful cos it was the first time a guy laid his hands on me.
It all happened one fateful evening when we were together in his room, he carried me on his laps and began touching me as usual. First it was my bosoms he caressed, squeezed and fondled, he then drew down the hands of my singlet which gave him clear access to my unprotected bosoms. Even though i do enjoy his touch which really was very sweet, what worried me was his inability to control his urge, which really was in excess with each passing day.
I soon felt his joystick on my as.s as it rose slightly, while he kissed my neck and ear as he fondled and caressed my aroused bosoms.
“Baby you smell nice” he said to me while i blushed, and truthfully Mike really is a master of sweet words which he always used on me cos he knew i loved it.
His right hand slowly found it’s way to my laps which was bare, cos i was wearing a short loose skirt, and his touch really was magical and so sweet that my k—y was soon very wet with k—y fluid. I closed my eyes as he touched, kissed and romanced me………
I soon felt his fingers on my k—y as he expertly worked on it while i moaned slowly.
“Baby easy” i begged, but my pleas only aroused him further and he increased his tempo fingering, kissing and caressing me all over.
Gosh i felt so hot as more k—y fluid dripped out of my k—y. He then turned me to face him, kissed me gently for a while before dropping me on his bed, pulled off pant, parted my legs and immediately brought his head down on my k—y. I soon felt the warmth of his tongue and the fire it drew as he licked and worked on my k—y.
“Oh easy baby, you are killing me” i begged as i moaned, while he licked more and more to the extent of assisting his tongue with his fingers.
“Jeez, Mike totally spoiled my k—y with his various techniques, and all i did was just to moan, plead and wriggle my waist as he licked my k—y dry………
Finally after what seemed like an eternity, he raised up his head and i heaved a sigh of relief and exhaustion.
“Baby it’s now your turn to suck me” he said as he pulled down his knicker while his huge joystick raised its head and nodded, but I looked at him and said nothing.
“What is it baby? Sit up nah” he said as he drew my hand in order for me to sit up but i refused, which left him extremely surprised.
“what is the matter?” he asked
“I can’t do it” i replied, and he smiled.
“Baby there is nothing in it. C’mon sit up let me teach you” he said, but i shook my head, cos only the thought of his huge joystick in my mouth sent shivers down my spine.
“I won’t cos i don’t like it” i said arrogantly, while he stared at me as i got up from his bed and dressed up. His eyes burned furiously as he watched me.
“Baby why are you so selfish?” he finally asked, while i eyed him.
“You are the one very selfish all you now know is s-x, just see how skinny you have become” i replied with a hurtful tone, which really was a big mistake and it earned me two powerful slaps on my face while i held my jaw and stared at him in shock and disbelief.
I stared at him angrily and in shock for a while, before rushing back to my room in tears.
“Baby i’m sorry” I heard him apologise as he followed me but i shut my door and locked it before he could enter. I really was so hurt that day cos i never believed mike would ever lay his hand on me.
Tears flowed freely from my eyes as i remembered how i felt that day. “Why am i even remembering all these?” i asked myself as i cleaned my eyes, but then it was my feelings for Benjamin which was bringing my past experience back to my head, and i had no control over it.
I soon heard a steady knock on my door, which brought me out from my thoughts. I immediately composed myself as i went to open my door and when i opened it, there stood Benjamin with a smile on his face, and he peered into the dark room.
“Are you still sleeping? It’s almost 7:45pm” he asked me while i forced a smile.
“Actually i wasn’t even sleeping oo” i replied as i yawned, switched on my bulb and allowed him in. He entered, looked around for a while before staring at me again. I tried to hide my face by looking down, but his sharp eyes noticed my dull face and red eyes. Seriously guys can be very sharp when it comes to reading a girl’s face, especially a girl they are interested in.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” he asked seriously and with care, while i sat on my bed and looked away, he was soon beside me and he held my hands tenderly.
“Please what is it, maybe i could be of help?” he asked, while i forced a smile.
“Don’t worry it’s nothing” i replied, but he just shook his head.
“I don’t believe you, moreover nobody cries over nothing” he insisted.
“Benjamin it’s nothing serious, i just remembered someone i used to care for” i explained and he smiled.
“Ok, I now understand, so where is he?” he asked but i just gave him a blank look.
“Why do you want to know?” i asked back as i rolled my eyes, which made him to smile and shrug. But then my retort didn’t put him off, instead he drew closer to me and looked into my eyes.
“Sweetheart a problem shared is a problem solved, moreover sharing your story with a friend sometimes helps to reduce tension and bad feelings, and i equally promise to share my own story with you when you are done with yours” he said to me fearlessly, while i looked at him silently as i battled within my mind whether to share my secret with him or not. I thought to myself that no matter my feelings for him, he still is a boy and might use it against me in future, but the way he stared at me really showed he cared and the sparkle in his eyes were very real and filled with love. My eyes melted again and i burst into tears while he held me in his arms and consoled me.
“It’s okay baby” he said with his gentle voice, and truthfully I didn’t know how i felt that moment cos it has been a long time a guy held me in that manner.
His arms were comforting and i really felt like sleeping in them when he held me, but then i equally didn’t want to appear vulnerable or weak to him and so i managed to control and keep myself in check by drying my eyes.
“It’s okay everything happens for a purpose, what are you going to eat tonight?” he asked, while i said nothing.
“I have soup, i can make garri for you” he said, which made me to laugh.
“Thanks Ben you are a nice guy but don’t worry, i will drink tea with my biscuit” i replied, while he shrugged in resignation.
After taking my night bath that evening, i took my biscuit and a cup of tea to his room cos i promised to come and stay with him for a while in order to tell him my story.
“Don’t worry once i’m done with my night bath i will come and spend an hour with you” i had said to him, when i finally composed myself and stopped my tears that evening. He stared at me as if he was reading my mind through my eyes.
“Do you promise? Cos i can’t wait to hear your story?” he asked, while i smiled and nodded.
“Yea i promise” i replied, before he stood up and left in order to give me space to take my bath.
As you all know, we girls do like to keep our secrets to ourselves but then Benjamin really appeared very special to me, cos he had few friends and didn’t socialize much. This made me to trust him and seriously the feelings i had for him was equally so much that i was even ashamed of myself sometimes. Yet, I couldn’t help it and at precisely 8:55pm that fateful evening i saw myself in his room where we stared at each other as if we were searching for something in our eyes.
“So dear, i’m all ears” he said to me with a smile, while i drank my tea and smiled back as i prepared to share my story with him.
And there i sat in his room about to reveal my intimate secrets to a male who really was nothing but a stranger to me, if not that i had feelings for him, and with a smile on my face i opened my mouth to do what i never knew i would ever do in my life.
Hmmmmm, love really works wonders.
I told him the first few chapters of my love life with Mike, which was focused mainly on how we started and how he took away my virginity, which equally turned him into a s-x addict, and truthfully i really knew not what pushed me into revealing some part of my intimate life to him, even though i kept the main part to myself, while he listened attentively with his eyes focused on me.
“So how did it all end?” he seriously asked, while i breathed deeply cos i stopped my story at the scene where Mike slapped me. A smile equally displayed on my face as i noticed the excitement with which he asked the last question.
“I will say our affair officially ended on his graduation day” i replied, as the memory of that particular day rushed into my head, while Benjamin nodded his head for me to continue.
Mike’s graduation day really was a day i will never forget in a hurry and that night was equally spectacular, as we made love all through in celebration of good things to come, without knowing that I was celebrating the end of our relationship.
That particular day equally was a very great and special day for Mike, and his happiness knew no bounds.
After settling the hostel neighbours by giving them a carton of malt and beer to share, he dragged me out from the hostel happily.
“Dearie it’s you and i today, lets go catch some fun” he whispered into my ear, while i giggled happily.
He took me to a small fast food joint at the other end of the town, where he spoiled me with chicken pepper soup and ice cream, together with sweet romantic words which followed it.
It really was one of the best romantic moments i ever had with him and i equally was the happiest girl on earth that fateful day. When we got back to his room around 8pm in the evening, he held me tenderly.
“Baby thanks a lot for being by my side all through my struggle as a student” he whispered, while my eyes melted. Oh I was so much in love with him as i prepared myself to give him my body once again.
“Dear please continue” i heard Benjamin say to me, while i stared back at him with a smile on my face.
“Sometimes a little girl needs to keep some stories to herself” i said and winked at him, while he shifted unhappily where he sat.
“It isn’t fair oo” he protested, which made me to smile further.
“I’m very sorry but i can’t continue” i apologised, as i reached for his hand which i held softly.
Truthfully, i couldn’t really bring myself to share the rest of my story with him, cos a girl really needs to keep some secrets to herself.
“I think it’s time to get going” i said to Benjamin who just looked at me unhappily.
“You are not keeping your promise, it’s not what we agreed” he continued to protest while i stood up.
“Don’t worry in due time you will know everything” i said to him, while he shrugged.
“I don’t have a choice nah, so let me just wait hopefully” he said to me, while i laughed, carried my tea cup and left for my room.
I rinsed my tea cup when i got to my room before lying down to sleep, but still sleep eluded me once again, as the memory of my last moments with Mike flashed back into my head.
His goodbye really was the most sincere words he ever spoke to me and equally the saddest words i ever heard, but then i misinterpreted his goodbye thinking that it was just a normal parting words of a travelling boyfriend, without knowing that it was a final goodbye from a guy abandoning his girlfriend and walking out from a relationship which she jealously guided with her whole heart.
After his final exams, he had only stayed for two weeks before packing up some of his properties, even though his rent was yet to expire and my heart really skipped countless times as i helped him pack his things, which i did out of loyalty and not because i wanted him to leave.
“Why are you leaving so soon, how about your clearance?” i had asked, while he just smiled as he held me.
“Don’t worry dear, they have all been taken care of and i’m just leaving because i don’t want to waste any time in preparing the road for our future” he replied sweetly, while i stared at him with a fast beating heart which was filled with love.
“I’m very scared” i said to him, while he smiled before kissing me passionately.
“You have nothing to fear princess, i can never forget your beauty nor the love we share together, just trust me, infact i should really be the one to be scared, because you are too beautiful to be left alone” i heard him say, while i blushed, because his sweet words were really too much for my inexperienced little brain-washed head, and his lips rested on mine again, while his tongue found its way into my mouth.
I equally felt his touch as he caressed my young bosoms, which truly aroused me very well and seriously he really had control over me, that i was just a toy in his hands and even when we quarreled i forgave him easily even when i swore not to.
As we made love once again, i really didn’t know that it was a goodbye s-x as he knacked, fondled, caressed and kissed me, all i did was just to enjoy every bit of it without knowing that i was being dumped.
As soon as Mike left the hostel, i felt very empty and it looked as if i had lost something precious, cos i really had gotten used to his presence. I couldn’t even stay five minutes without thinking about him, nor stay an hour without flashing or calling his phone.
Seriously it really appeared as if my whole life depended on him and that was equally when i started to notice some changes in him.
His phone calls drastically reduced to the extent of twice on a very good week, which i really didn’t care about, since i did most of the calling, but the one which pained me the most was when he didn’t call me on my birthday, but only sent me a text message which got me extremely annoyed……
“How can a text message be compared to his sweet voice?” i had asked myself throughout that day as i waited patiently for his phone call which never came. Yet with tears in my eyes i read his text message over and over again till i finally slept that fateful night without hearing his voice.
“Or was he waiting for me to call him on my own birthday?” i wondered sorrowfully.
It really was very disheartening to receive phone calls from friends who meant nothing to me, while the person i called my boyfriend found it very hard to call me and that moment was equally when i began to have serious doubts about him.
“Did i truly choose the right person?” i asked myself over and over again that fateful night.
I didn’t expect him to buy me jewels, nor clothes, because i knew he just graduated, but all i wanted was just to hear his voice that particular day which was very hard for him to satisfy me with.
I couldn’t control my emotions the following day and with a shaking hand, i dialed his phone number.
“Hey baby, what’s up?” he asked when he picked his phone, but due to my anger i couldn’t answer him, but instead poured out my unhappiness to him.
“You have really changed! You can’t even call me on my birthday, you are very heartless, please don’t call my number again!”
I poured out to him before ending the call. Even though i shouted at him, i really had expected him to call me back. So I held my phone hopefully thinking that he would call back but he equally found it too difficult to call back. I really can’t describe how i felt that moment cos i was more than devastated. He finally called me around 9pm, but due to my anger i refused to answer my phone, which rang five times before a text message came in.
The text message was from him and when i read it, i nearly fainted.
“I know it will come to this one day but i never expected it could be so soon, anyway goodluck with your life, i know you are with another guy that’s why you are not answering your phone. I won’t disturb you again just as you ordered”
The text message he sent me really smote my heart and tears dropped out from my eyes as I read it over and over again.
“So Mike had never trusted me”, i said to myself as i cried and the urge to call him back and beg him that moment was so great, that i had to drop my phone.
“Life why are you this cruel?” i heard myself ask. Amara my roomate rushed to my side with concern written all over her face but i said nothing as i handed my phone to her. Her face equally turned white as she read the text message Mike sent me.
“Hmmmm so so cruel”, i said to myself as all the memories kept flashing back……
“Baby girl, this text message shouldn’t depress you nah. I believe he is just angry, you know how guys behave sometimes” Amara tried to console me but yet i was unable to stop myself from crying that night.
The following morning, she called him with her own phone but he refused to answer which really surprised Amara and all she did was just to shrug and shake her head.
“Don’t get yourself worked up over him, he should be the person to cry for you, so dear lets forget about him and prepare for market, you know our food stuffs have finished” she said to me as she expertly changed the topic.
Mike never called me, neither did i see him for the rest of that year but i soon pushed him to the back of my mind as i focused all my energy in my studies, which was why i came to school in the first place and not to fall in love with someone who doesn’t deserve me.
However that period was very traumatic for me, cos i woke up sometimes feeling very lonely and h—y. What really kept me going was my determination to get over him as i swore not to be so easily used again. Although i couldn’t really believe that a guy like Mike, who took me when i was very pure could easily forget me, as if i never existed. This equally made my heart very strong and hard towards guys that most of them avoided me because of my cold behaviour towards them.
It was also because of my past with Mike, which made me to pack out from my former hostel and move into the hostel where i met Benjamin.
Hmmm, Benjamin. The guy who softened me a bit and made my heart beat fast again.
“Hope I’m not making a major mistake again?” i asked myself as i tossed around on my bed but then i really didn’t know how his charms were able to soften my heart and turn me back to a sweet girl capable of loving again.
I was still thinking about him when my phone rang briefly and stopped, when i checked the caller, it was no other person than Benjamin who had flashed me. A smile appeared on my face.I checked the time it was 12:15am.
“Why is he awake by this time of the night? Is he thinking about me?” i asked myself with a smile, and i was still pondering over it when sleep finally carried me away.
Oh my Benjamin……
“i like Benjamin very much, but i’m scared of making another mistake” i confessed to Amara, on our way back to our hostel from school the following day, while she just smiled,
“sometimes i don’t understand you” i heard her say, which made me to stare at her in surprise,
“what do you mean?” i asked,
“nothing oo jare” she replied, which only made me more curious to know what she had in mind,
“nawa for you, tell me what you have in mind nah?” i insisted, and she stared at me for a while, with a very serious look on her face,
“your problem with Mike happened last year, what i don’t understand is why you are still mourning him, and equally punishing yourself till now” she said, which really shocked me immensely……..
“who told you i’m still mourning mike or punishing myself?” i asked seriously,
“isn’t it obvious that you are, it’s been months since you last had a guy in your life, which kind of punishment is more than that?” she fired back,
“abeg oo it’s no punishment to me, i’m single and happy” i replied with a smile, while she laughed for a while…….
“comot there jare! pretender, don’t tell me that cra.p again jor” she said with laughter, while i eyed her…….
One thing i really do love about my friend Amara, is her honest and blunt nature, and she never hid her feelings from me, even for a single day, though sometimes she may be annoying,
“if you like, continue to play hide and seek with that poor boy’s feelings, i have nothing else to tell you again” she added, while i slapped her shoulder,
“madam it’s okay nah” i said to her……..
Falling in love for the second time isn’t that easy, especially when you have been so terribly dealt with, the first time, but then love is an inevitable force of attraction which do come to every human being, and when it comes, carries your whole body, soul and even sense of reasoning with it………
Truly i was so scared of being hurt again, cos i knew i barely managed to survive my first heart break, which really wasn’t easy for me and seriously i equally didn’t know how my friends, especially Amara were able to jump from one relationship to another without any emotional break down,
“how i wish i could just be like them” i had often said countless times, but then i really couldn’t be like them, because we are not the same…….
We soon got to our hostel, where Amara gave me a sweet smile before going to her own room, which she shared with her boyfriend
“take care, i will come to your room later” she said as she smiled……..
As i unlocked my door, Benjamin came out from his own room, with a sweet smile on his face,
“finally you are back, i have been lonely all day” he said as he came towards me, while i stared at him with a smile, and i felt like hugging him that moment, as my body yearned for his arms around me, but i kept myself in check, and swallowed my wishes, because i equally knew he had no morale to hug me in that manner in a hostel corridor,
But surprisinly he drew close and hugged me, which really drew out dimples from my face,
“i couldn’t sleep last night because i was thinking about us” i equally heard him whisper……
“Hmmm love is full of surprises”….
we entered my room together, where he sat quietly on my bed and watched as i quickly prepared rice that afternoon, cos i returned from school with hunger. But the way he stared at me that afternoon really made me to lose concentration a couple of times and equally made me uncomfortable…….
“please stop staring at me nah” i finally muttered while he laughed,
“but i can’t stop myself from staring at you nah” he replied with my tone, which made me to sigh with a smile,
“you better go back to your room and watch your t.v, since you are looking for who to watch” i fired back while he laughed out loud
“watching you cook is more interesting than any t.v programme” he joked while i eyed him,
“big head” i cursed
“flat nyash” he cursed back,
“na there your eyes go see fast” i replied, while he fell on the bed as he laughed,
“madam cook fast, i’m very hungry” he said as he laughed,
“i’m not your mother” i replied, as i eyed him…….
After cooking, i freshened up in my bathroom, before dishing out the rice i cooked on a large plate. We ate together in silence and the way he ate really told me that he was actually hungry…..
“you cook nice but my mum cook’s better sha” he finally joked with a smile when he was filled up, while i eyed him,
“because you don fill you stomach nah, why didn’t you make that comment earlier?” i asked with an angry mien, while he smiled,
“hope there is still some left in the pot?” he also asked,
“why are you asking?” i asked back with a frown,
“cos i will still eat at night nah” he replied, while i sighed with a smile, seriously that boy’s head needed to be spanked that moment……..
We were soon in his room where we joked and laughed as we watched a movie and i really was very glad that he finally was able to feel free with me……..
I really knew not how it happened, but i soon found myself in his arms, as he kissed me tenderly, he wasn’t a good kisser, but i still enjoyed it as i closed my eyes, and i was equally thrown into another world when he squeezed my left b—m, and the feelings i had that moment was just heavenly. But as i was still enjoying his touch, he suddenly stopped and looked into my eyes, while i opened mine and stared back at him, a little embarrassed……
“this is my first time of being this close with a girl” he confessed as he swallowed hard, while i stared at him in silence, cos i really knew not how to react or what to say, but then his eyes really said it all as he looked into mine……..
“so Benjamin is actually a virgin” i said to myself, as i stared back at him with a fast beating heart…….
To be continued…
