I froze in shock as i stared at him, got hold of myself, looked away and ran past him to my room, but he surprisingly came after me, catching up with me as i stopped to unlock my door.
“happy sunday Cyndii” he greeted polietly,
“Hello Benjamin” i murmured nervously. He breathed deeply, drew close and studied me silently. Luckily, i managed to open my door that moment, and rushed into my room without another word. He however joined me in my room, throwing me into great tension with his undesirable behaviour.
He really was the last person i expected to see or talk to that moment and I equally was extremely ashamed that he saw me in a very terrible condition. My heart pounded furiously as i fell face first on my bed, backing him rudely, and praying silently for him to leave, but my prayers weren’t answered. He simply stood calmly, and waited for me to get hold of myself.
“please let me be, i’m not myself please” i finally heard myself say to him.
“you look very troubled, dejected, broken and lost, what is happening to you?” he asked curiously. I bit my lips and sighed deeply,
“Ben please leave me alone, i’m very tired and weak” i murmured, sat up and faced him with a coloured face. His eyes melted as he looked into mine, he came forward and squatted by my side,
“did he hurt you again?, tell me, what did he do to you? I see pain and unhappiness in your eyes?” he asked searchingly, making me blush and look away. I was extremely embarrassed and ashamed.
“why should you care, please leave” i said to him, but he calmly shook his head and held my hands,
“old things has come to pass my dear, this is new year and ‘A New Year Brings a New Beginning’, so don’t worry about the past, you can still count on me for anything” he sweetly said, while i looked into his eyes and saw hope. The only thing missing that moment was a soap opera music.
Can you guess what happened next????
Hmmm remember to think and guess out of the box, way above the ordinary, because things are not always as they seem.
My heart pounded furiously as i tried to say something, I opened my mouth but no word came out. I swallowed hard and looked away, deeply embarrassed and confused.
“Cyndii” Benjamin called my name softly, breaking my heart and flogging my soul with his voice. He really behaved like a good christian, very forgiving and caring, making my conscience flog and bite me without mercy.
The way he offered his help totally broke me into two, i really couldn’t believe he was ready to help after how i betrayed and dumped him the previous year.
“I don’t deserve your help, sympathy or anything, please just go, i beg of you” I finally managed to mutter, shaking and surprising him with my outburst.
“you are too proud and it isn’t good for a girl” he said with a very sad face. I breathed deeply and touched his left cheek,
“you are a very nice guy who deserves something better. Seriously each time i look at you, my conscience hurts because i instantly remember all the bad things i did to you, so accepting anything from you will kill me, please just let me be, moreover i’m not in any terrible situation that needs help, believe me” I explained calmly. He bit his lips and stood up.
“I broke my pride and most importantly i did what every guy will frown upon, by coming back to see you, but it’s okay” he murmured regretably.
“oh no Benjamin don’t say that” I cried, stood up and hugged him tightly, “you are a very nice guy and i know God will repay you somehow” I prayed,
“We don’t choose who we fall in love with, it’s something that happens without influence, and when it happens we leave everything just to follow our heart. Sometimes we end up with the wrong person, but believe me that’s it” I poured out as i held him tightly,
“and what happens to a guy who falls in love with a girl who happens to love another?” he asked,
“seriously i can’t answer that” i murmured with a heavy heart.
“i wronged you, i scammed your family and broke their trust. I’ll be at your family house next saturday to apologize and seek forgiveness from your family” i heard myself say. He instantly broke away from me, stared into my eyes and rubbed his face with his palms.
“will you actually do that?” he asked curiously,
“of course i will, moreover it’s the only way i can atone for my sins and be free from the evil touch of misfortune which has befallen me lately” i confessed.
Was there ever anything seen like love and sorrow meeting together in a place?.
The pure love of Benjamin’s noble heart, and the keen sorrow in mine, brought sadness more bitter than death upon us as we stared at each other that fateful sunday…
“alright then, i have to get going” Benjamin muttered seriously. I nodded with a faint smile,
“thanks again for checking up on me, hope you will be at home on saturday?” i asked meekly,
“of course i will” he replied, breathed deeply and turned to leave.
“Ben please wait” i begged nervously, forcing him to stop, turn and stare at me curiously,
“i have cute coursemates who will be willing to have a relationship with a guy like you, should i arrange one for you?” i asked nervously. He breathed deeply and shook his head,
“never mind, thanks” he objected,
“are you sure?” i asked seriously,
“yea and i’m also very sure you will later regret leaving the only boy that truly loved you” he answered, turned and left without another word.
______
I took a long shower, freshened up and had a little nap. However a loud knock on my door hours later, woke me up. I lazily answered my door and smiled brightly as my eyes fell on Amara.
“thank God you are back, i missed you dear” i happily cried as we hugged each other.
“me too” she murmured happily.
Even though our friendship wasn’t as strong as it used to be due to my strange affair with Mike, we still maintained a little closeness and still shared a unique bond which kept us together like sisters. She never supported how i got back with Mike, but it never stopped me from sharing my fears with her.
“could you believe Mike has a daughter” i announced as she walked into my room,
“don’t say that, jeez!” she exclaimed with surprise, settled down on my bed with both hands on her jaw and listened keenly. I calmly sat beside her and narrated the latest story of my life to her.
“da.mn this is so weird and unbelievable” she murmured and shook her head after listening to all i poured out,
“my dear i think you should run away from that guy, unless you are willing to risk your life over him. Moreover it isn’t too late for you, since you havn’t given him much commitment, nor slept with him after that careless night you spend at his family house last year” she advised seriously.
“you are right, but i just can’t do it, don’t ask me why please” i said seriously. She scoffed, shook her head and held my left shoulder,
“I think you are being insanely st.upid, seriously” she scolded,
“you used to be a level headed, intelligent girl, but it seems like you are getting stupid as you grow older, please don’t take it the wrong way, but i have to tell you the truth” she added with a serious look.
“what is love without happiness?, and what is happiness without a bright future?” she asked, forcing me to look away in confusion,
“there is no doubt you are love with Mike, but where is your happiness, and how will your life turn out in few years coming?” “this is no soap opera, we are talking about your life. Youthful love fades with time, but happiness and bright future can make it last a life time” She advised with burning eyes,
“you are like my sister my dear, and i know you have a very good but weak heart, do you think you stand a chance with Stella and her numerous antics eeh?, answer me?, moreover how are you sure Mike won’t abandon you at the last moment, because he’s good at it?” she asked seriously. I silently swallowed hard, lost in thought.
I was lost, disoriented and disorganised. Instead of helping, Amara choosed to dismember me with her frightening questions. But sometimes a truthful reality is very painful and horrible to imagine.
Monday morning
I left early for school and attended my first lecture as a final year student. It really brought brief happiness to my life, making me put all my fears behind me. I religiously faced my studies.
_____
Tuesday evening approached very fast, bringing Mike with it. I was writing an assignment when i heard someone knock on my door. I thought it was Amara, but was a bit surprised to see Mike standing nervously with a coloured face.
“hello” i greeted coldly, before paving way for him to enter my room. He calmly sat on my bed, while i returned to my assignment which i faced seriously.
“why havn’t you been answering my calls?” he asked calmly,
“because i have been very busy, which you can see for yourself” i replied coldly.
“I came to apologize for the way i treated you on sunday” he said slowly,
“you have nothing to apologize for, i perfectly understand” i replied,
“seriously i’m yet to get myself, it hasn’t been easy for me” he tried to explain, but i interrupted him rudely.
“you have no need to explain yourself, let’s forget about it” i muttered without caring to look up at him. He stood up, drew close to me and caressed my hair gently.
“i know you are still angry with me, tell me isn’t it so?” he asked searchingly.
“please i’m not angry, allow me to concentrate on my assignment, i still have four pages to cover” i replied with a slightly raised tone. He breathed deeply, brought out his wallet and fetched some naira notes which he dropped on my book.
“i have to get going, it’s almost 6pm, do take care dearest” he murmured, stood hesitantly for a while before leaving my room. I never thanked him for the money, nor even bothered to say goodbye to him. I however counted the money as soon as he left and smiled to myself, because i was five thousand naira richer.
5:15pm wednesday
Amara dragged me to a boutique which was just few houses away from Mike’s apartment, giggling happily as she showed me the gown which made her drag me out by that hour.
“Cyndii isn’t it beautiful?, i can’t afford waiting till tomorrow, because i can’t risk losing it for anything” she explained happily as i stared at the beautiful gown. She really was very right, the pink cute thing was well designed with a lovely material.
“you are right dear, the gown is worth the trouble” i replied with a smile. She laughed and quickly paid for it.
As we left the boutique minutes later, i begged her to accompany me to Mike’s apartment which was just few steps away. She wasn’t happy about it, but had no choice than to follow me.
But you guys can’t imagine the surprise, shock and anger i felt when the door to Mike’s apartment was opened by no other person than Stella, three minutes later.
“oh dear good evening, I guess you are looking for Mike, he went out minutes ago” Stella giggled with bright eyes. I breathed deeply, as i desperately tried to control my temper.
“It’s in our best interest to keep our thoughts quiet, let’s go” Amara clevely whispered, before dragging me away.
“ain’t you going to leave a message” i heard the obnoxious Stella ask as we left the building.
I wasn’t myself as we headed back to our lodge that fateful evening, because not only was i jealous and angry, i equally was very doubtful of Mike’s intention towards me. My thoughts wandered aimlessly, while the police officer’s advice came rushing into my head,
“you have seen nothing of what we call life’; your boyfriend is false in heart, in mind, in soul; he has a false flattering tongue, false lips, false principles, you better be careful” he had advised me on sunday, but i choosed to ignore him,
“could he be right?” i wondered, “no no no Mike won’t be so stupid as to get back with her, there must be a solid reason for her to be in his house” I fearfully concluded.
Amara and i didn’t say much to each other when we got back to the lodge. She soon retired to her room, while i settled to sleep, but i kept tossing on my bed uneasily due to my unhappy thoughts. Unable to control my emotions i dialled Mike’s phone number.
“hello dearest” he answered seconds later,
“i came to your house earlier in the evening with my friend, didn’t Stella tell you?” i asked. He kept quiet for some seconds.
“no she didn’t tell me anything, why didn’t you wait for me to return or call my cell phone?, i could have rushed home instantly” he asked,
“there isn’t any need for that since your wife is already there” i answered coldly,
“believe me, it’s not as you think” he murmured nervously,
“A person dosen’t need to see a lot of things to imagine the truth” i replied and hung up. He tried calling me back, but i switched off my phone, shed a few tears and slept.
Thursday
I left my phone {switched} off, stayed away from my room and spent all my time with Amara. By 9pm, we decided to be a little wild and go clubbing. It really was one of the best nights i ever had as a student. I enjoyed the loud noise, crowd, happiness and music that shook the dancing hall. I forgot all my problems and danced myself to exhaustion.
By 4:15am friday, we left the club and trekked towards a nearby junction to get a cab or tricycle. We barely had gone ten steps when a black SUV pulled and stopped in front of us. Amara and i stared at each other fearfully, stopped and tried to cross over to the left section of the road, but a young guy instantly jumped out of the car and called my friend.
“Amara don’t be scared, Chike your cousin is greeting ooo” we heard him say. Amara froze and stared at him speechlessly, when he got very close, she recognized him, smiled and laughed.
“bro Chike” she greeted and hugged him, but Chike’s eyes soon left my friend and focused on me brightly, while the street fluorescent lamps glared on us..
“won’t you introduce me to your lovely friend?” Chike asked Amara, while i blushed nervously,
“oh silly me,” “meet my dearest friend Cyndii jare” Amara introduced. He calmly drew close to me, smiling confidently,
“Cyndii meet my big cousin Chike” Amara said to me. I nodded and shook hands with him.
“i’m very pleased to meet you” I heard him say polietly as he studied me with his eyes.
“we are actually heading to our lodge, hope you won’t mind giving us a lift?” Amara asked. He instantly nodded and dutifully led us to his car.
“sure of course, who am i to say no” he laughed as we walked to his car.
I quietly settled at the rear seat, while Amara sat beside him. He switched on his car engine and quietly drove towards our lodge. I closed my eyes due to exhaustion, and almost fell asleep.
We arrived at our destination minutes later, gladly thanked him and alighted, but surprisingly he also alighted from his car and stopped me, while Amara stared at us with a smile.
“can i have your phone number? Please don’t decline, because i ask with good intention” he said to me. I breathed deeply and shook my head.
“please don’t take it personal, but unfortunately i don’t easily give out my number, maybe in due time i will, but not now please” i replied seriously. A deep line instantly appeared on his face, as if my answer crushed his ego. He however quickly recovered and laughed effortlessly.
“c’mon ask Amara, we are like family” he tried to insist, but Amara quickly came to my rescue.
She instantly walked up to him, grabbed his left hand and dragged him away from me.
“abeg leave the poor girl jare, don’t you have somewhere to go” she asked jokingly.
“we will meet again, i promise” he said to me with a smile, entered his car and drove off.
“don’t mind him dear, though i prefer him to Mike” Amara calmly apologized as we waited for the gateman to open the gate for us.
I lazily slept throughout that friday, and later in the evening, went over to Amara’s room where we argued for a while as she tried to discourage me from going over to Benjamin’s family house.
“seriously i commend your bravely and courage in deciding to apologize to his family, but i really don’t think it’s a wise idea, looking at it from a different point of view. How do you think they will look at you?, do you think you can survive the tension? Hmmmm nawaoo, you get liver jor” she murmured when she saw how determined i was.
“but i still need a favour from you” i said pleadingly,
“i’m all ears” she answered and held my hands.
“please can you go with me, i need you to accompany me, i need someone to share the tension with” i begged with all my heart. She instantly drew back with fear.
“noooo” she gasped,
“yes” i nodded. She breathed deeply and shrugged,
“i pray they don’t pour us hot water” she murmured. I hugged her happily, eyes filled with relief.
“Thanks alot Amara, i owe you much” i murmured gratefully, while she rolled her eyes.
Early the next day, we headed to Benjamin’s family house, very scared and nervous. but i was consoled with the fact that i was doing the right thing.
“Hmmmm”, breathes deeply
I guess, the outcome of that journey will be a story for another day.
11am, Benjamin’s family house
“I think coming here is a bad idea, we should go back” i nervously muttered when we got to the gate. Amara scoffed and shook her head.
“no no no madam, we ain’t going back, we are already here and we have to go ahead with what brought us to this place, moreover it’s hundred percent your idea” she said to me as she firmly held my left hand.
Without another word, we walked into the compound, cautiously with prayers in our lips. We soon got to the entrance door, stopped and stared at each other nervously.
“what are you waiting for? C’mon knock on the door nau!” she urged as if it was a very simply thing to do. I swallowed hard, shrugged and knocked gently.
Two minutes later the entrance door was flung open by Benjamin’s mother, who stared at us with a serious but not mean look, breathed deeply and admitted us into the house polietly, even though her smile was heavily cloaked with sharp coldness.
I searched for Benjamin with my eyes as we walked into the sitting room, but unfortunately couldn’t locate him, which made me more uncomfortable, while his mum’s pointed gaze unsettled me greatly. I nervously settled on a couch with Amara dutifully beside me.
“my son told me you wanted to speak with me?” the old woman asked after some minutes had gone by. I breathed deeply, rubbed my knees nervously, nodded and smiled,
“please where is Benjamin?” i asked calmly,
“i sent him on an errand, i thought you only wanted to speak with me, don’t you?” she asked curiously with a burning gaze,
“yes ma, his presence is really not needed” i murmured with a coloured face,
“actually i came to render an apology” i stammered, while she drew forward on her chair, feigning surprise and pretending as if she wasn’t aware of what i came to do. Her action truly unsettled me further, i was so /so/ nervous. I was doing something i havn’t seen any girl do and the old woman was making it more difficult for me with her intense behaviour.
I tried to continue with my speech {apology} but was unable to, all i was able to do was just to throw a nervous glance at Amara who gave me an encouraging smile.
I never knew rendering a sincere apology could be so difficult. My phone however rang that moment breaking the tension and silence in the room. It was my mother calling.
“your dad was involved in a motor accident an hour ago, where are you?” i heard my dear mum say over the phone, leaving me dead with fright.
“oh no God why?” i cried, shocking everyone with my outburst..
*continues*
I instantly dropped my phone in shock and held my head. Amara dutifully shook me, concerned and anxious to know the reason for my outburst.
“hope all is well my dear?” Benjamin’s mum calmly asked. I breathed deeply and shook my head.
“my dad” i cried,
“yes, what happened?” Amara asked, but before i could answer, my phone rang again.
“hello mum” i murmured as i answered her call for the second time,
“we are at St James hospital, very close to your school, where are you?” she asked again,
“i’m, i’m” i stammered,
“please be here quick, i need to rush home and get some things” she added without waiting for my reply, while i breathed deeply. All eyes were on me as i dropped my phone and stared back at Benjamin’s mum whose eyes were seriously scanning my face in deep awe. I stood up uneasily, bit my lips and shrugged.
“i’m sorry ma, but i have to start leaving, i just got a terrible call from my mother informing me that my dad was involved in a motor accident this morning” i explained with tears. The old woman gasped, covering her mouth with her hands,
“oh dear lord” she screamed, made the sign of the cross, drew forward and held me with concern. Her expression forced more tears out of my eyes, making me sob uncontrollably. I broke free from her and ran outside while Amara eagerly followed me. I felt bad, broken and down, very scared and lost.
Not only was i crying for dad’s accident, i equally was crying for my life. I was extremely scared of my future, scared of tomorrow and scared of my family’s fate. I never believed in superstition but yet i had a very strange feeling about everything, i feared that the evil wind of misfortune had not only befallen me but has engulfed my innocent family as well. I felt very responsible for everything, i saw my life turning upside down.
“save your tears dear, things may not be as bad as you fear” I heard Amara say as she held me reassuringly, i stared at her with prayers in my lips.
“i hope so dear, i do pray so, because if Dad dies, i’m finished” i murmured sadly, a very painful but truthful sentence it was.
We finally got to St James hospital an hour later. My heart pounding furiously as we eagerly searched for my parents.
“Kpoom kpooom kpoooom” my heart pounded…
To be continued…
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